Like Me Bias: Why ‘Good Fit’ Can Be Bad
Last week, I was interviewing someone and felt myself light up when they mentioned loving Slack (yes, I’m a nerd). I had to pause—this single shared preference, completely unrelated to their actual competencies, was actively shaping my impression of them.
We talk a lot about bias in hiring but rarely about bias in leadership. And yet, it shapes careers just as much.
We like people who are like us. It’s human nature. It’s easy. It’s comfortable. And our brains are wired to take the path of least resistance. That’s why, as leaders, we tend to hire, mentor, and promote people "like me" who have a shared love of Slack or work in a way we instinctively recognize as strong. But a team full of you doesn’t just lead to homogeneity; it kills innovation, reinforces blind spots, and, whether intentional or not, creates barriers for those who lead differently.
Meanwhile, many companies are not-so-quietly walking back their commitments to workplace diversity, claiming we’ve moved beyond bias and that success is purely a meritocracy. But let’s be clear: destroying DEI programs isn’t about creating a meritocracy, it’s about preserving the illusion of one.
This newsletter, and my work, isn’t about politics. It’s about building workplaces that actually work. And here’s the uncomfortable truth: “like me” bias isn’t just about who gets hired - it’s about who gets invested in, developed, and promoted. If we don’t recognize it, we risk not just overlooking talent but discouraging future leaders before they even start.
What is “Like Me” Bias?
“Like me” bias, also known as affinity bias or similarity bias, is our unconscious preference for people who think, look, or act like us. While we all like to believe our decision-making is rooted in logic and (conscious) values, cognitive psychology has shown that biases are universal and no one is totally immune.
In short, the “like me” bias is our unconscious tendency to favor familiarity over difference. On the surface, it feels safe and comfortable, but in reality, it leads to missed opportunities and a lack of innovation.
We see this at work in a few ways:
In Hiring: A manager might favor a candidate who went to the same school or shares similar hobbies, even if another candidate is equally (or more) qualified.
In Everyday Interactions: We naturally gravitate toward colleagues who remind us of ourselves, sometimes encouraging social silos in the workplace.
In Leadership: Decision-makers may surround themselves with people who mirror their own perspectives, missing out on the benefits of differing viewpoints and constructive pushback.
The Risks of “Like Me” Bias in Leadership
When we favor employees who share our style, we risk reinforcing a cycle of groupthink, stalled innovation, and lots of lost opportunities for growth.
Groupthink Kills Innovation
When leadership is homogenous, so are its ideas. Teams become echo chambers where new perspectives struggle to gain traction. Without diverse viewpoints, companies miss opportunities, overlook risks, fail to adapt to change, and risk psychological safety at work.
The “Invisible” Talent Drain
Employees look up. If they only see one kind of leader—one style, one approach, one personality type—they get the message: this is what success looks like here.
If their natural leadership style doesn’t fit that mold, if they process information differently or need more time to make decisions they start asking themselves:
“Is there a place for me here?”
“Will my contributions ever be valued the way theirs are?”
“If I can’t be like that, am I seen as less capable?”
If the answer feels like no, talented employees stop seeing a path forward, and they leave. Not because they weren’t capable, but because they weren’t recognized.
Bias in Performance Evaluations
We tend to recognize and reward leadership that looks like our own. If a leader is direct and fast-moving, they may undervalue an employee who is more methodical and analytical. If a leader is highly relational and consensus-driven, they may dismiss someone who takes a more independent approach or vice versa.
Breaking the Cycle
Recognizing the problem is the first step. But what can you do about it?
Audit Your Own Leadership Biases
Look critically at your patterns. Who do you naturally gravitate toward? Who do you mentor, invest in, or give the benefit of the doubt? Be honest, do you stay away from that Gen Z employee because you don’t perceive them as having the same work ethic as you? Do you stay away from the Boomer employees because you are certain they can’t leverage the tech stack? If your inner circle looks and leads exactly like you, it’s time to expand your lens.
Leverage Data
Use assessment tools like DiSC to get a clear picture of the leadership styles represented in your organization. Then, make conscious decisions to include multiple perspectives by building hiring panels, promotion committees, and strategy groups that reflect different leadership styles. A varied panel is less likely to reinforce the same biases.
Encourage Different Leadership Styles & Dissenting Opinions
What works for you isn’t the only way to lead. If someone approaches leadership differently, ask: Are they still achieving results? Are they developing their team? Are they driving impact? Make space for different approaches instead of forcing everyone into one mold.
Diversify Mentorship & Sponsorship
If the same people always receive development opportunities while others are left to figure it out on their own, bias is at play. For the first time, all four generations are in the workplace at one time. Studies show that skip-generation mentorship pairing works really well. Get those Gen X and Gen Z employees partnered!
Call It Out When You See It
When someone says, “They’re just not a culture fit,” ask: Do we mean they don’t align with our values, or just that they lead differently than we’re used to? When someone is labeled “not leadership material,” is that based on their ability or just their style? Bias lives in unexamined assumptions - so challenge them.
Great leaders don’t only build followers - they build other leaders, not just reflections of themselves.
So, Now What?
Confronting “like me” bias isn’t just the right thing to do; it’s also smart business. Despite the current rhetoric, research consistently shows that diverse teams outperform homogeneous ones.
If you’re serious about breaking the cycle, sometimes an outside perspective helps - just sayin’. I help leaders identify blind spots, expand perspectives, and build teams that don’t just check the demographic diversity box, but thrive on differences in thought, skills, and leadership style. I’ll also help you implement Slack if you don’t already use it :)
